Monday, July 30, 2007

I'm still alive... barely

Diet drinks don't taste great.

Actually, overcooked Easy Mac isn't great either. I think I'll throw the rest away.

Blaaarg! So it's almost August already, and I still have no idea even which side of the country I'll be on come September. I can't even say which option is looking most realistic because honestly, nothing seems realistic right now. Except for the fact that the computer gods absolutely hate me. Seriously. There is some outside force that HAS to be working against me that just plain does NOT want me to join a raiding guild in World of Warcraft. I'm serious. I think it's the computer god, who is named Tim and needs to be destroyed. How do you kill a god?

I once came up with a theory about how to take over the world. It said that the easiest way to take over the world is to take it over FROM someone, and who has possession of the world right now? Obviously, Jesus. I mean, seriously, you can't escape him no matter where in the world you go. Wars are fought over it. So to take over the world, you need to take it from Jesus. The only problem is, how do you take it over from Jesus? Simple. Think about it. Christmastime. We celebrate Jesus, but we also celebrate Santa Claus. They're both jolly, they both love children, and they both dress in red and white. They both do amazing feats involving movement across the world in virtually no time and they both cast miracles. (Yes, I consider a flying sleigh and eight flying reindeer to be a miracle.) Obviously, Jesus is Santa Claus. Same person. All you have to do is set a trap for Santa and BAM! Instant world domination!

......I'm SO going to hell for all eternity. And if I end up in Florida this summer, there's going to be a hurricane and I'll be struck dead with a lightning bolt. Sure, it may LOOK like an accident, but we'll all know I was really assassinated by the Big Guy himself. Heh, makes me feel almost special.

Blech. Diet soda. Why am I still drinking this?

Anyway... there's my update. I'm still alive, despite what you think. Vanye sulie. And by the way, that's NOT Latin.