You can't write if you have nothing to say

I once had a friend who told me, "You can't write if you have nothing to say." I thought about it for a moment and then said, "Yeah, that makes sense." But then she shook her head and said, "It's a myth." When I gave her a questioning look, she told me that you can write "Nothing nothing nothing nothing" until you think of something to say.

While I was working today, the thought crossed my mind that I should probably start writing my blog again. It lets me get my thoughts down, and when I'm grumpy, it's easier to force myself to redirect my thoughts when I'm typing them out. But I realized I had nothing to say. Then I remembered what Kathy told me years ago. That led me to thinking about how I felt like it was a horrible tragedy when I was told, in the voice of someone giving the news that a close friend has died, that Kathy wasn't coming to church anymore. Then I thought about what people would say if I decided not to be LDS anymore. I thought about all the various people I've looked up to and why. I practically wrote a novel in my mind as I worked today. And it all started with the words "You can't write if you have nothing to say." Funny things, memories are.

Anyway, I'm now going to discard all the introspective and deep thoughts that occupied my mind all day. (It was very quiet at work today. No hard feelings or stress or anything--we just kind of worked in companionable silence. I thought it was pretty relaxing.) I have some stories for your entertainment.

I was doing in-house with Nides and Steven the other day. It was getting toward the end of the day, and in one of the last rooms, Nides said, "Oh, these people are checking out today." I told him, "No they're not," because it was past check-out time, so even if they were going to check out a day or three early, they would've had to be out already. But for some reason unbeknownst to me, Nides flat-out insisted "No! They are checking out today!" Getting fed up, I said, "Nides, I will bet you twenty dollars that they don't check out today!" He said, "No no, not bet that much. I will bet you a soda. Or maybe a candy bar. If they don't check out today, I will buy you a candy bar. If they do check out today, you will buy me a candy bar. But you will lose."

Nides owes me a candy bar.

We've had a lot of fun lately, pretending to beat each other up at work. I guess it's Steven's fault. He and Nides pretend to punch each other in the face and then mock each other for not having quick enough reflexes. Then there was the time when Nides was talking to me about how he would watch movies with me and Beth and Rye but he doesn't like that kind of movie but he's happy that we're happy blah blah and while he was in the middle of a sentence, Steven picked up a pillow and hit him in the face with it. It was the most awesome thing ever!

Another time, Zac found some pennies in a room. Nides collects all the heads-up pennies we find (but only if they're heads-up), so Zac went into the bathroom to put them in various places in the bathroom for Nides to find while he was cleaning. To play a trick on Zac, I closed the bathroom door and blocked it with my foot so he couldn't get out. But Zac didn't try, and a few seconds later, Nides came into the room.

"What are you doing? Did you lock Zac in there?" he asked. "You can't block the door--you're not strong like Steven. He will get out."

"No, I'll keep him in there. You just watch this, Nides. I'm strong." We waited, but Zac didn't even turn the doorhandle. Nides and I both sat and watched the door for a while and then it slowly dawned on me why Zac wasn't pushing on the door. I laughed and stepped away from the door. "Gotcha, Nides! Zac's not even really in there. He went to the van for more sheets."

Nides laughed and said "Awww, you got me! You're funny!" He opened the door, and-

"BOO!!!" yelled Zac, jumping out.

Nides nearly jumped through the roof and then collapsed on the floor panting. The rest of us were cracking up, holding on to various pieces of furniture for support as we laughed at poor Nides. After that, we did something similar in every single room, and Nides fell for it every single time. It was awesome! I have to admit that despite my initial intense dislike for Nides, he really is fun to be around sometimes. In other words, I was wrong and I'm sorry.

I was dusting today and discovered a large dark smear on the wall. At first, I thought it was a mosquito someone had smashed. When I got closer, though, I realized it was WAY too big, even for an enormous mosquito that had just finished sucking itself full-to-bursting with someone's blood. Then I thought maybe it was bloody boogers someone had wiped across the wall. But after I scrubbed it off the wall, I smelled it. It was poo. Definitely poo. Probably from a human. A couple of us offered some theories about how poo got wiped on the wall. Ah, the mysteries of life.

Vanya sulie!