I get the feeling my roommate doesn't like me, and I can't figure out why.
The first day I got here, she was fairly nice--helped me carry my stuff in from the car and all, showed me around the apartment, and then disappeared to let me unpack. Since then, I swear she avoids me. Anytime I walk into a room she's in, she gets up and leaves almost immediately. Without even saying a word. When I try to talk to her, she'll give me a one-word answer if it's necessary... and then get up and leave. I would assume she's just anti-social, except that I hear her talking to the other roommates (who share the apartment but not our bedroom) when they're downstairs and I'm upstairs doing homework.
My suspicions were confirmed the other day when I came home to find a massive wall, kind of like a dressing screen, blocking off her side of the room from mine. I was going to ask her about it... but she left the room.
She seems like a fairly cool person. I just can't understand what I've done to get her to feel she has to put up walls between us (both literally and metaphorically speaking).
Of course, her wall has a downside that I suppose she didn't stop to think about. It's 11:00 and I just got home. A lot of people were moving about downstairs, so I came straight upstairs, walked in my room, leaving the door open, turned on the light, and started cleaning up a little before going to bed. After about three minutes, I heard a rustling, and my sleepy roommate walked around the wall, flipped off the light, slammed the door, and shuffled back to bed. Heh. Oops!
I don't feel like that was my fault, but it definitely didn't do anything to make her like me any more. Sigh.
(Ha, wow, two complaining posts in a row! No worries, I really am happy!)
4 comments:
Not a lot of good solutions to this one, I am afraid.
If you want some advice, keep reading... otherwise, I simply wish you luck! :) Roommate situations can be challenging.
If it were me, I would try to do the following:
I'd apologize for the light incident. It wasn't your fault, granted, but an apology might (big might) help. After you apologize, maybe you could tell/ask her about what's going on. Something like, "Hey, um, besides the light thing, I'm getting the feeling that I've done something that has upset you. Is there something I can do to remedy the situation?"
That's not too bad. Some people are disinterested in other people for no particular reason. Maybe it's awkward for her living with someone for the first time.
Anyway, it's better to live with someone who isn't social with you instead of someone who has an actual problem with you.
Yeah, only she's a graduate student, and I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time she's had roommates. And she seems to get along fine with the other two girls in the apartment. But you're right, at least she doesn't (vocally) have a problem with me... yet.
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