Lord Blarf was in no way related to King Muffy. Unlike Lord Blarf, King Muffy was actually a king, despite being a dog. Not just any dog, either, but a poodle terrier. He ruled the kingdom called Toejamia, which bordered Athletus Footania on the continent Gangrenia. Well, he didn't really rule it so much as run around sniffing peasant's crotches, barking, and helping water trees. But he could at least talk, and was a much kinder dictator than Napoleon, the cat who ruled Athletus Footania.
But let's not get too carried away in politics, shall we? Back to Lord Blarf. Lord Blarf had a very noble and important job. Career. Calling. Hobby. Purpose in life. Lord Blarf was a fish massager, and no finer fish massager had ever lived. Occasionally people would make fun of Lord Blarf, but he insisted that fish could do their work better if they were well-relaxed. No one could make a wig quite like a relaxed fish.
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Okay, here's the game. I got the story started, now each person to comment expands the story by a paragraph or two. Let's see if we can get the full story here!
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It was widely known across the land that the firkles grown in Toejamia had a unique and succulent taste, almost a cross between mint leaves and bartlett pears. Blarf's orchards were his pride and joy. It was at the foot of this orchard, down past the daisy meadow, in the wide curve of the trickling brook, that the fish congregated in a pool, waiting their turn for Blarf's favors. Only today, they were in for a real surprise.
*sitting back enjoying the story*
"Do go on"
On this particular day, Lord Blarf was carefully massaging a young fish named Slusher, who was known for his ability to get the hair to lie correctly in the front of a wig, a rare and precious talent indeed. For among all the Toejamians, there were few with a decent head of hair.
Slusher and Lord Blarf were discussing the weather, which was particularly fun for them since one lived above the water and the other lived below it. As Lord Blarf slowly and carefully started to massage Slusher's dorsal fin, Slusher developed a very odd sensation. And something very strange happened. First the fin twitched, then it changed colors from blue to green to red to purple to yellow, then it started to sprout toes and a heel and split in half.
Lord Blarf gently placed Slusher on the floor and stood back, and little by little, Slusher's other fins started to change as well. His scales smoothed into a skin, he developed arms, and slowly, over the course of ten minutes, he developed into a complete, although small, human form with a fully head of beautiful golden curly hair.
Slusher and Lord Blarf looked at each other in complete bewilderment. Never had such a thing happened before, and they could not understand either what had happened or why.
As Lord Blarf finally got his wits together, he went to his sink and retrieved a mirror for Slusher to look into. In amazement, Slusher finally blurted out ...
Avocados! I demand Avocados!
Slusher said he needed Avocados for his new curly hair. Blarf did not understand the need for avocados, but he went to the avacado shop anyway. Professor Rofl Ilikecats happened to go into the shop at the same time, he over heard Lord Blarf ask for Avocados. Rofl shook Lord Blarf by his shirt and demanded to know what he needed Avocados for. Lord Blarf, who had a piece of cheese stuck in his ears, calmly said Let go of my shirt. The Professor got angry at Terrace for making such a dumb addon to the story. Then, all of a sudden, The Professor fell to the ground and one million kittens ran out of his mouth. Lord Blarf didn't notice the mewing of the cats cause of the cheese in his ears, so he got the Avocados and walked back to Slusher. But Blarf forgot slusher needed the avocados so he ate them. Slusher was not amused.
You can ignore the part where the Professor broke the fourth wall by the way ;)
"Wait!" said Lord Blarf. "I have something that will work even better!"
And he pulled out one of the finest firkles ever to grow in his garden. The fish, of course, didn't even know firkles existed, because they were underwater and, although the townspeople fed them avocados, they never shared a precious firkle with them.
"Here, let's try this!" said Lord Blarf.
Slusher looked at the firkle disparagingly. He had, after all, had his heart set on an avocado, and was looking forward to using his new taste buds in general.
"No," Slusher finally said. "Can't we go somewhere and get different kinds of food?"
"Well, I guess there is always Golden Corral," said the kindly Lord Blarf and off they went.
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