Dogs are gross. I am lazy.

I didn't sleep well last night, so after Jack left for work, I decided to go back to sleep. I'm not sure how much later it was when I was woken up by that weird gulping noise that means a dog is getting ready to vomit. Reflex kicked in (this happens kind of a lot) and I immediately grabbed my little dog, Blitzkrieg, and tossed him off the bed. He tried to crawl under the bed, so I held him in place by his collar, because the only thing worse than cleaning up dog puke is having to crawl under the bed to clean up dog puke.

Blitzkrieg deposited an enormous pile of chunky, apparently-undigested dog food on the floor right beside the bed. Still-half-asleep, I stared at the big pile of vomit, which I could hardly see because my glasses weren't on, and I thought, "Man, I really don't feel like cleaning this up right now." As I sat there staring at the pile in dislike, Blitzkrieg and my other dog, Akela, both started chowing down on it.

"How nice," I thought. "Now I don't have to clean it up." Then I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Dogs are gross.