Lint Monkey

Lint Monkey is going to write this post in third person because Lint Monkey feels like it. Lint Monkey is also not going to use pronouns when referring to Lint Monkey because Lint Monkey feels that would defeat the purpose of speaking in third person.

Lint Monkey feels like a horrible person because Lint Monkey forgot to call Sister of Lint Monkey on Sister of Lint Monkey's birthday. Lint Monkey would like to give Sister of Lint Monkey a big apology, an enormous hug, and a poem to make up for it. A-hem....

Roses are red, as is strawberry Jell-O,
Now you're eighteen, and so you need a fellow.
A short one or tall one, a here-catch-the-ball one,
A young one, a fat one, a torture-the-cat one...
Maybe you'd be better off with a hamster.

Happy belated birthday, Sister of Lint Monkey.

Lint Monkey got the game Portal today, but unfortunately, the game is a six gigabyte download, and Lint Monkey's monthly download limit is only two gigabytes. This distresses Lint Monkey. Fortunately, Lint Monkey has a stuffed squirrel, so all is right in the world.

Also, Sister of Lint Monkey should eat donuts. By the way. The highway. So that dirty snow will be splooshed on Sister of Lint Monkey. That way, Sister of Lint Monkey can scare away any potential boyfriends by being dirty, wet, and cold. Not to mention by eating donuts with dirty snow splooshed on them. Now Lint Monkey wonders if Sister of Lint Monkey has seen snow yet this year. Lint Monkey suspects so.

Lint Monkey will not be going home for Christmas. This makes Lint Monkey sad. Lint Monkey remembers torturing Kitty of Lint Monkey's Family last Christmas with fondness. Lint Monkey wonders whether Kitty of Lint Monkey's Family will miss Lint Monkey. Lint Monkey suspects so.

Lint Monkey had a visitor last night! Girl-from-grounds came to visit Lint Monkey in the evening, and Lint Monkey was very pleasantly surprised. Lint Monkey likes Girl-from-grounds. Lint Monkey thinks Girl-from-grounds is funny and interesting, not to mention intelligent. Lint Monkey wishes Girl-from-grounds would visit more often. Lint Monkey looks forward to when there is more snow on the ground, so Lint Monkey and Girl-from-grounds can work together to completely block the doorway to the laundry room with a solid wall of snow.

Lint Monkey is going to end this post now because it is nearly time for fresh donuts to be sold at the grocery store. Lint Monkey likes fresh donuts. Especially the kind with cream filling. So Lint Monkey will bid Readers of Lint Monkey's Blog toodles now.