Shrug

Today marks my first time ever actually blowing up a hot dog in the microwave. Pretty awesome.

My car's broken again. This time it wasn't my fault, though. I think it's just old and the part needs to be replaced. Anyway, I'm taking it in to an actual auto shop tomorrow, I think, because I'm pretty sure it's my brakes, and I absolutely don't want those going out on me. Dang, I wish I knew more about cars.

Oh well. What else? Ha, I had the weirdest conversation with a guest the other day....

Lint Monkey: Hallo, housekeeping, can we get you anything?
Crazy Lady: Um, no, actually, I think we're fine. We don't need anything.
LM: All right then, you guys have a great day!
Other Man: *walks up* Hey, you! Housekeeper!
LM: Yes?
OM: I've got a question for you!
CL: *slaps him* Oh, you hush!
OM: When you're in a cabin with several other people, and you go to use the bathroom, and the bathroom door is shut, what's the first thing you do before you walk into the bathroom?
LM: Um... knock...?
OM: Ha! There! You see?
CL: *slaps him again* Oh hush, you should've locked the door! *to us* When you're in a cabin with a group of people and you go to use the bathroom, do you lock the door or not?
LM: Yes... I lock it...
CL: Ha! There, you see? You should have locked it!
OM: *turns to me, Emmelie, Zac, and Steven* How old are you guys?
Em: Sixteen.
LM: Twenty.
Zac, Steven: *cower*
OM: You're forty? Wow, you don't look a day over fifteen!
LM: Not forty, twenty.
OM: Oh, twenty, twenty, of course, yes. Well, you listen to me, and listen well. Never get married! *puts his arm around Crazy Lady* This crazy lady and I can't stand each other! And we've only been putting up with each other for a couple of days. We're not actually even married. I mean, I dated her for a few weeks after we graduated high school. And now I thank God every single day for letting me marry someone who wasn't her.
CL: *slaps him, laughs, and goes back inside*
Saint Robert: Excuse me... *pushes past OM and heads for the car*
OM: Ah, there! See that guy? That man over there is Saint Robert. We call him Saint Robert because he's married to the Crazy Lady. I don't know how he does it. He's in line to be the next pope!
SR: *smirk*

I don't actually remember the rest of the conversation. I think we pretty much just fell over laughing till we died and woke up in the next room still doing in-house. Good thing we were still a little alive or Rye would have killed us for dying at work. I hate it when he does that. Rather excruciating.

I'm wearing dirty socks. That's a sign I need to do laundry. Man, I wish I had my own house with my own washing machine so I didn't have to make three+ trips just to clean my socks.

Which reminds me. In response to your comments to my dream house...

> > First, regarding the Fat Bear's comment about the grand piano: In a large area like a gym or a concert hall, grand pianos are wonderful. In a house, they take up too much space to be worth the sound difference. Having a grand piano sitting in the middle of the room because it doesn't actually fit well against a wall or in a corner is annoying enough that it overbalances the slight sound quality difference. In my not-so-humble opinion, at least. Furthermore, I was raised on uprights and actually almost prefer the sound of a good upright.

> > Second, to Terrace's comment: Thank you. I thought of it myself. :P

> > Third, replying to Old Man's comment regarding circulation, temperature gradients, ultraviolet exposure, proliferation, deterioration, et cetera: I'm tempted to say "Huh?" But that sends the implication that I didn't comprehend or appreciate the scientific espials you've detected and disclosed. While I appreciate your scrutiny, I nevertheless regard it as obiter dicta because a fantastic domicile ("fantastic," of course, connoting the traditional "related to fantasy" and not the coetaneous vernacular "remarkable") is not necessarily subject to the scientific laws of this dimension. Put simply, if I want to, I can put the fireplace on reverse and use it as a freezer, and there ain't nuttin' you can do about it. I love you too, Daddy.

> > And in response to the King's comment: The RPG room! Crikey, I knew I was forgetting something! Thanks! The RPG room will be in the basement, which will be accessible by climbing wall (which will extend to the basement now) and by a door leading outside. The door that leads outside will be underground and there will be a ramp leading up to ground level. But not just any ramp. There'll be a stone... thingy... around it shaped like a dragon's head, so when you walk down the ramp and into the door, it'll look like you're walking into a dragon's mouth and down his throat. Kind of. It'll be made of black stone, and the fangs will look like black stalagmites and stalactites. Plus, there'll be red lighting for super-cool special effects. Red lights for its eyes and some down towards the back of his "throat" too, so when you look into it, it looks like you can see the fire in its belly. How cool is that? The basement itself will be a big room made of stone, and the furniture will be carved into it. I'm thinking black stone, like obsidian or maybe black marble. Just because that's cool. But that's almost overkill. I mean, I bet Dark Iron Dwarves would like it, but adventurers aren't usually Dark Iron Dwarves. Going along with the black stone, though, there would be stalagmites and stalactites and possibly something like a hologram projector making it look like the ceiling over the table is melting and about to drip lava onto the players. Heck, maybe some lava pits around the room too. And a huge two-handed battle-axe hanging on the wall near where the DM sits.

The problem is, cool as that would be, it's a little dark, even for me. I suppose I could just go with a big well-lit room with white walls and fluorescent lights, which would be a funny contrast to the dragonmouth entrance. Plus, I've always been a fan of well-lit rooms. I'm convinced there's something about them that helps people kind of relax. Which leads me to my second idea that, unfortunately, requires an entirely different house. It would be kind of one story, but kind of two stories. Allow me to elaborate.

You walk in the front door and find yourself in a hallway. There's a door to your right that's just a coat room, a door in front of you, and a hallway leading left. You put your coat in the closet and if there weren't any coats in the closet, you'd see another door on the other side of the closet. The other door leads to the hallway leading to the right. It's kind of hard describing this without an illustration. You can take the hallway left fifteen feet and the left wall will continue going, but the right wall will then turn and it will leave you in the corner of a big room. Think living room. Piano, foosball table, air hockey... television and Playstation and stuff, I guess... whatever. And a few scattered bookshelves. Got to have a place to store my books. Always. Anyway, you turn right to walk through this room, reach the far side, and turn right again to find the door to the kitchen. You go in and it's your typical kitchen because I haven't thought much about it so far. Go through another door, pass a bathroom on your left, pass a storage closet on your left, and turn right to reach the Lint Monkey's bedroom and office and workshop et cetera. Haven't thought too much about this area either, really. Pass through that, turn right again, go down the hallway, go through the back of the coat room, and you're back in the main entryway. But the whole idea for the house is that it's got a big empty square in the middle. Only it's not really empty. Because there's another room there, it's just weird. See, in that big area in the middle, there's a room that's shaped like a big two- or three-story oak tree. You go through the door across from the front door and go down under the tree, then go up the trunk from the inside until you get to the area that would be the heart of tree, in the middle of the branches and leaves. That's the role-playing room. Several windows looking out, but the "leaves" overshadow it enough to protect it from the sun (just for you, Dad). Basically, think elfish thoughts for this room and there you have it.

But now I think about it, I don't like how at nighttime, you'd practically be on a glowing pedestal yelling "LOOK AT ME, I'M PRETENDING TO BE AN ELF!" I mean, it's different if you're in a basement that looks like a dragon's lair, but... rawr. Back to the drawing board.

I guess I could always just role-play in the living room of my original dream house.

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