Soooooo ADD

I hate being ADD. Even caffeine isn't helping. Maybe I ought to actually get some ritalin. Well, at least my room is finally clean. Ish.

This week's newspaper articles have been atrocious so far. It's been a long time since I've had to do so much substantive editing. Oh yeah, that reminds me! I got my papers back from my last few history lessons, and the professor said he liked my humor, but he took off points because my essays weren't in the traditional "intro, A, B, C, conclusion" format. I hate that format. My genius is so unappreciated. Mope.

I'm amused that people take my sarcastic conspiracy rants in history as clever. Seriously, three of my definitions were:

The Marshall Plan was set forth by Truman’s secretary of state, George C. Marshall, in 1947. The idea was to help the countries of Europe get back on their feet after the war, although the real reasoning behind it was probably just to convince the other countries to like the United States so they wouldn’t turn against us, afraid that we were too powerful. But that’s just speculation. Anyway, to make sure the United States was still king of the hill, it was stipulated that about 70 percent of the money we granted to them should be spent on American goods. Aren’t Americans sweet? Oh yeah, also, the plan originally was going to help the Soviets too, but they basically turned it down and said, “We don’t need your help, noobs!” So we were happy, because we didn’t like them anyway. Those Communists.

Walt Disney was the greatest person who ever lived. He created Mickey Mouse, and was constantly coming up with new ideas to make his films a step ahead of everyone else’s. Everyone liked Mickey Mouse because he wasn’t political in any way, so it was a form of entertainment that let people get away from wars and politics and everything else that grown-ups feel they need to constantly argue about. So everyone all over the world watched Mickey Mouse and bought merchandise and built theme parks, which pretty much put America at the head of the entertainment industry. Isn’t it wonderful how something so happy and innocent can be seen as just another ploy to get America even more powerful?

When Coca-cola came out, people all over the world started buying it. It was a sort of symbol of America, which was getting a reputation for being successful and modern and technologically advanced, kind of like Japan today. Except Japan is also crowded, so we can easily drop bombs on them if we start to worry that they’re too far advanced. Then people started getting into all sorts of other distinctly American stuff, most notably Hollywood films. But since Coca-cola is sort of what kicked it off, the whole thing is called Coca-colonization.

I can't believe teachers seriously let me get away with stuff like that. And at the same time, I'm really glad they do, because I think I'm pretty much incapable of writing formally. My father would be horribly disappointed.

Anyway, I'm behind in this week's history lessons because I asked a friend for help defining one of the terms and six hours later realized that we had not only strayed drastically from the topic, but it was... well, six hours later. Okay, maybe the six hours shouldn't have made that big a difference since I had a whole week to do it, but I sometimes procrastinate, okay?

Also, I'm out of food again so I have to go to Wal-Mart. And my sister wears mascara and buys things like "cute little tote bags." I'm so disappointed in her. That's a joke, by the way. I really don't care. It would be weird if she were as manly as I am anyway. She's already manlier than Tigris.

Oh burn!

I found my comb today. That's a good thing, because it's my only one and it's been missing for like three days. There's a reason I always wear a hat.

Also, oriental ramen doesn't taste nearly as good as chicken. For the record.

I tried going for a walk today, but it was too darn cold.

I think I may go back to Seward to work this summer after all. I miss Beth and Rye and the beach and the humidity and the rain and the mountains. Gosh, I love those mountains.

I'm soooo ADD right now, and I've had like four Mountain Dews, so clearly, caffeine is not going to help me pay attention this time. My room is clean, so I can't use the excuse that the disorder is distracting me. I wonder if Rob is coming to juggling practice today. I wonder if Casey is. I wonder why Corey didn't come to his piano lesson today. Or was that yesterday? Why the heck did I let my sleep schedule get so skewed? Oh yeah, nightmares. That reminds me, I should e-mail my teacher.

OH GOSH MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!