Monday, February 2, 2009

Got milk?

Whoever said procrastination doesn't pay? I just earned almost 500 dollars by not sending out my tax return as soon as I finished it, because today I got a 1098-T form in the mail. Filing with the 1040EZ form like I've always done, I didn't need the 1098-T form, but I decided to try redoing my tax using the 1040A form and see if it made a difference. And it did. :D So my day just got better!

Yesterday, I was rushing to work a little bit late and slipped going down a flight of icy stairs. Of course, I have leet ninja skills, so instead of falling and breaking my tailbone, I grabbed for the banister and skidded the tops of my feet over the edge of the stairs. I slid down about six steps before my arm caught in the leg of the banister and tried to bend my forearm in half. I was very glad I drink enough milk to have strongish bones. I was also very glad that I don't weigh too terribly much. I was also glad I hurt my arm instead of landing on my tailbone and not being able to sit down for a week.

The funniest part is that the most visible part of this "injury" is from where my sleeve slid up as I skidded down, so the freezing cold metal banister rubbed against my bare skin. And of course, when I stopped sliding, I was in shock for a few seconds, so I didn't take my arm off right away. But it's still hardly visible. It's not fair, man! The whole point of hurting yourself is so you can have fun telling people about your wild and exciting adventures that led you to them! Like my little sister, who smacked herself in the face with a tennis racket! SHE gets to tell people silly stories about why her face is all swollen, but me? Nooo, I have to suffer in obscurity! Pity meeeee!

6 comments:

dubby said...

I can't see it or not see it, so am sending a pity party your way.

Tiffany said...

Pitying you!! :)

Old Man With a radio transmitter in his car said...

Hey, since we're talking about stories for pity: Man, oh, man. I hope you didn't read my blog with the picture of our fireplace. You see, I was finishing up class when the fire alarm bells went off, and in my rush to ensure that all my students got out of the building safely, I accidentally forgot about my thumb drive that was installed in the classroom computer. Now, that thumbdrive has all kinds of other information on it that I carry between my computere, including my genealogy which links our family back to William the Conqueror and even further. So that drive is pretty valuable to me, since it contains a legacy that I want to hand down to my posterity. So there I was, standing outside the college of business building, watching the fire trucks drive up, when suddenly I remembered my thumb drive. So I dash past the campus security guard who has arrived, and I run inside the building to retrieve my thumbdrive and am halfway up the stairs (yes, I know enough not to take the elevator if the building's on fire) when I hear this plaintive cry, like a baby, only this is a college and there aren't any babies. So I pause for a moment and I hear it again, and it soundes like it's coming from over by the Coke machines, so I ignore it and go on up the stairs to the classroom, and finally get my thumbdrive out of the computer, but on my way back out, I hear the cry again, and I check and see, and stuck in behind the Coke machine is a cute little baby ferret. Ferrets are popular pets with college students for some some reason, and apparently this one had gotten loose and wandered into the busines building, and had been attracted to the smell of the sugar in the coffee machine which is right next to the Coke machine, and somehow ended up stuck between the machines. So I carefully extracted the ferret and proceeded out of the building, and just as I get out the door, this cute coed comes running up to me and yells, "Oh, thank goodness, you found Mr. Kempington" and she grabs the ferret and hugs it, and gives me a big kiss. But there's just one problem. She's a smoker, and she's taken advantage of the fire evacuation where everyone is outside, and since outside is a smoking area, she has decided to light up, and she has a nice six-inch king Edward cigar stuck in her mouth, and as she tries to kiss me, the hot end of the lit cigar burns my cheek. And she realizes what she's done, so she reaches up and removes the cigar from her mouth, but my cheek is already blistered. And then she realizes that it is probably improper for a coed to kiss a professor, so she decides to shake my hand. But my right hand is holding my thumbdrive, so she shakes my left hand, but again forgets that now she is holding her cigar in her hand, and it burns my palm. So that's how I have a burn on my cheek and on my left hand, and those burns hurt like mad, and that's why I'm up at 1 in the morning writing on a blog instead of sleeping soundly like I should be doing at this time of night. I'd tell you how I got the bruise on my shin, but that's a long story.... PS don't read my blog with the picture of the fireplace!

dubby said...

Did anyone every tell you that your dad is full of c - - -?

Old Man With a radio transmitter in his car said...

Yep, it's true. I admit it. It's Orville Reddenbachers, the popping kind! I ate a whole bowlful earlier today!

Terrace said...

Mmmm popcorn :D