Movie review: The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

Yesterday, I watched the Phantom of the Opera with Amy and now I can't get the songs out of my head. It was a little OOC for me to put off finishing my history assignment to watch any movie, but particularly this one. I wasn't terribly impressed with it last time I watched it (four years ago) either. But then, Amy watches a movie by herself almost every week, and I know it's boring watching movies alone, so I thought I'd go ahead and be social for once. (Normally, I don't watch movies with her because she mostly watches chick flicks and Jane Austen type of things where people talk in bad British accents about things that nobody cares about but that mark the end of the world for the ditzy characters as well as, apparently, 95% of the girls who watch those kind of movies.)

...What was I saying? Oh yes, Phantom of the Opera. The only character I particularly liked was Christine's little blond friend (Meg?). Well, no, actually, the older lady with the Russian accent was cool too. And the two weird guys who ran the theater were so annoying you couldn't help but like them. But the characters you're SUPPOSED to like (Christine, Raoul, and the Phantom) were pretty terrible.

The Phantom's voice was too harsh for his part. He's an okay singer, but the Phantom's voice is supposed to be fantastic: smooth and enchanting and even seductive. Even the orchestra backing him up didn't help him sound right because his voice didn't blend with the accompaniment but grated against it. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't terrible. He just wasn't right for his part.

On the other hand, at least the Phantom could act, unlike Raoul, who was a better singer than the Phantom but who couldn't act to save his life. In fact, he was another character who, like Christine, spent most of the movie staring off into space while he stood around looking pretty. His "heroic acts," which failed miserably every time, looked more like he was just doing them as a chore. I saw no actual emotion in him: no determination or passion or, well, anything. The most expressive his face ever got was during the scene at the end where the Phantom and Christine are apparently having vocal sex on stage (seriously, it looked like they were about to finish their song and strip off their clothes and go at it like rabbits right there in front of everyone) and the camera flashes to Raoul and one corner of his mouth is curled up a little in disgust and he just stares. It was hilarious, but entirely unconvincing.

While she's undoubtedly a fantastic singer, Christine spent half the movie standing around looking pretty, and the other half looking like she was about to have an orgasm. Her character had no personality, and the actress seemed capable of portraying only the one emotion, making Christine seem not only shallow, but frankly, a little horny.

Having said that, I suppose I should also say that I just plain did not understand (and never have) what happened at the end. The Phantom has Raoul at his mercy and is threatening to kill him... so Christine KISSES him? And then the Phantom LETS THEM GO and starts crying and disappears forever? Why? I guess an English major would say something to the effect of "because he's not really a bad guy, he's just lonely and he realized Christine was meant for Raoul" or some bunch of garbage like that, but frankly, if that answer was accurate, I denounce all classic works forever because--no offense--that's kind of stupid.

Some of the symbolism was cool, I have to admit. The part where Raoul jumps bareback on a white horse to ride after Christine, or where there's a swordfight in a graveyard between Raoul in his white shirt and the Phantom in his black. Classic. Then there was the monkey, and the roses with the black ribbon tied around them. They really did do a fantastic job playing up the roses.

The scenery was fairly cool, too. I especially liked the dripping, cobwebby tunnels behind the mirror. The secondary characters were well-played (more so than the main ones), the orchestra was amazing, and the cinematography was fantastic. Overall, though, if I watch Phantom again, I'll probably try to find a different version.

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