You're right, King Isepik. Thinking about infinity is not only scary, but it's also depressing. Honestly, last night I was almost to the point where if I were older and not anti-alcohol, I probably would have gone out and gotten drunk as a skunk just to forget about it. Almost.
As per Beth's orders, from now on, I will refer to Beth as Spawn and Rye as God.
God and I had a snowball fight that lasted almost all day today. I scored some really good points, but I think God won. At one point, even though on of my arms was full of sheets and the other held the bathroom bucket and a bag of rags, God smashed a snowball about twice the size of a basketball right on my head, bringing me to my knees and making me cringe helplessly, trying in vain to protect the sheets from a fate worse than death (sogginess) while he crammed as much snow down the back of my shirt as he could. After we went inside, I discovered that a goodly amount of snow had fallen into the bathroom bucket, so I chucked it at him. He retaliated by following me into the bathroom, holding the snowball while I cringed, ready and waiting to knock his hand away when he moved. Then he said, "Wait, is the toilet lid open?" I turned to look and the dirty rotten scumbag put me in a headlock and crammed the snow in my ear!
Never get in a snowball fight with an Alaskan.
Of course, the best part is, when he did that, he smacked in the mouth good and hard, so I got a fat lip. I can just imagine the conversation with Jewel now....
"Wow, Lint Monkey, what happened to your lip? Not another bike accident!"
"Nah, Rye just beats me. It happens all the time."
"WHAT?!?!"
Spawn is nice to me. She doesn't beat me... in the face. And rarely with snowballs. But sometimes with razor frisbees of doom. She does it because she loves me....
Spawn was reversible today. Then God became reversible. Then I became reversible. Then I threw away the sign that said "reversible." The end.
Cabin 13 doesn't like me. First the door smacked me in the face, then the shower door bit me in the hand. Then it conspired with the townhouse 10 vacuum, because that bit me too. But that's okay... I showed them all! Know how? I'M STILL ALIVE!!! (blink... AHHH, where'd the earth go? Welcome to infinity... ignore this... it's in parentheses, which means you're not supposed to read it anyway. What's wrong with you?)
Now I'm going to go beat Final Fantasy Ten and eat dinner and go to bed. I'm tired. Toodles!
2 comments:
You just love the abuse.
And to all those who have read this post, Lint Monkey was the first to throw a snowball. "God" was only defending himself. I helped "God" out once or twice by hurling out snowballs to show Lint Monkey the error of her ways. (Cause I didn't have my razor frisbees of Doom on me.) But alas, the thickness of her head blocked out all that was said or shown to her. She REFUSED to give up. This is why she got beat into the snow and got her "snowballs" handed to her. To say this day was very entertaining to me. I approve! A+
okay, may the snowball force be with you
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